... 37 Funny Inspirational Life Quotes That Motivate With Humor. And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Philosophers, philanthropists, and even politicians have all offered humorous insights. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown, Related: 155 Inspiring Hustle Quotes to Stay Motivated, 21. Wonderful Funny Quotes. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. “Three doors in hell a guy gets hit by a car and goes to hell. It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. Come to the dark side. “Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26, 89. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin, 68. conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings, 71. Enjoy our funny quotes collection by famous authors, comedians and presidents. “A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy, Cookie Notification, and awareness of the California Privacy Rights. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy, 62. Here are 38 funny sarcasm quotes and sayings to make you laugh. Improve your mood by reading these quotes about all … Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty, 47. What’s the worst thing that could happen? – Michel Tournier, 85. Start a 14-day Free Trial. Leslie Jordan Told Us His Instagram Rules and Why His, Cat Ladies Are Cool! Company culture is important to your business's bottom line. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. Get ’Em Here! Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins, 16. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen, 77. 1. Where X is work. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand. Harry S Truman. He has hit rock bottom and started to dig. “People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash, 100. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti, 6. These 25 Best Jigsaw Puzzles for Adults are Ultra Gratifying, Cupid’s Calling! Now quiet! Our collection of witty funny pictures of funny saying which are short words, easy to remember but still hilarious phrases. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi, 81. Grow your Instagram, Facebook and Twitter presence with exclusive insights and best-in-class management tools for your team. If … These funny inspirational work quotes have been assorted for the absolute reading pleasure of everyone looking for a little bit of laugh as well some motivation. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino, 44. Actually, it is never supposed to be one. When he gets there, the devil is standing in front of 3 doors. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald, 19. Love Quotes. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben, 22. Success. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese, 65. “Time is an illusion. Life is all about balance, and these quotations will help you remember that. “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Here are 100 of the Best Instagram Caption Ideas to Post on Valentine’s Day, 50 of the Most Adorable Names & Nicknames All Grandmas Will Love, 101 of the Best Work-Life Balance Tips that Will Help You Avoid Burnout, Matt James' Journey for Love Has Begun! Refresh your page, login and try again. They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.​” — Homer Simpson, 28. There’s a support group for that. If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller, 20. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar, 66. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau, 59. That is your boss's job. Copyright law, as well as other applicable federal and state laws, the content on this website may not be reproduced, distributed, displayed, transmitted, cached, or otherwise used, without the prior, express, and written permission of Athlon Media Group. Wisdom Quotes. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen, 4. I’m actually not funny. Funny Quotes about Life. Incorrect email or username/password combination. Surgery on dead people. You are posting comments too quickly. It just might.” Casey Stengel Laughter Quotes From the Famous. 14. Go to table of contents. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb, 91. Best funny life quotes selected by thousands of our users! How Can My 'Ask Marilyn' Question Be Published. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller, 84. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson, 55. . I just go normal from time to time. Funny quotations about work and the workplace. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing, 98. That’s how they work.”. “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Funny Quotes That Are Self-Deprecating. Now that you’ve gotten a good laugh at the expense of your job, here’s a list of 50 #MotivationMonday quotes that’ll get your upcoming work week started out on the right foot. Your account was created. . Whoops! This is a curated sub-category. An image tagged the three stooges,dark humor,co-workers,fun at work. Life at the workplace can be dreary without humor, which can serve to relieve tension and create camaraderie among team members. Sep 26, 2017 - Explore Sherrie Preston's board "new job quotes" on Pinterest. Looking For a Challenge? Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. You seem to be logged out. 1. Meet the Full Cast of, Are You Ready for the Super Bowl?! Y is play. “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose? “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale, 41. It looks as though you’ve already said that. “The elevator to success is out of order. Mary Kay Ash. Need a good laugh? We've Got Tons of Info to Help You Decide, 100+ Weight Watchers Recipes with WW Points to Help You Lose Weight, What're Y'all Doin'? These 100 hilarious quips and funny work quotes poke fun at the ups-and-downs of being a working professional, and are guaranteed to make any day on the job better. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Inspiration. “When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . Ad Choices. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 5. Explore 43 New Job Quotes by authors including Mark Manson, Walter Mercado, ... Life Quotes. Funny inspirational quotes about life that will motivate you. Enjoy our funny life quotes collection. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner, 93. 15. There was an error in your submission. “I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous, 64. Sorry, comments are currently closed. “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx, 78. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. Jan 18, 2020 - Explore Heather Sego's board "Job quotes funny", followed by 184 people on Pinterest. You seem to be logged out. Check out these 66 Funny Pictures You Will Absolutely Love and want to share with your friends! More short quotes. Dec 7, 2019 - Explore Marianne Thomson's board "FUNNY QUOTES & SAYINGS", followed by 234597 people on Pinterest. Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings “My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not. You're not alone! And where?”. “It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleges and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.” – Alan Alda, 58. It is filled with moments of joy and happiness, blended … My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. – Rita Rudner, 88. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.” Chuck Palahniuk “Play every game as if your job depends on it. 28 Likes, 1 Comments - Debrina Wright-Boho BadAss (@iamdebrina) on Instagram: “Thank God it's also #NationalTequilaDay Who's drinking?? “After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous. “I’m not retiring, I am graduating . Inspirational Quotes About Finding a New Job . Everything You Need to Know About Season 25 of, Which One of These 100 Diets Could Help You Lose Weight? “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy, 37. “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi, 57. “Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.” — Anonymous, 35. Or perhaps you’re just feeling grumpy because you had to change out of your pajamas and put on real pants today. Don’t take it so hard. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​” -​Kin Hubbard, 29. “I like work; it fascinates me. By creating an account, you accept the terms and Manage your GDPR consents by clicking here. '” — Don Marquis, 46. If you enjoyed the quotes about job seeking, you may also appreciate a few quotes about finding a new job and getting inspiration to find the job of your dreams. It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock, 60. Funny quotes on life relationship advice Words To Make You Laugh “If you love someone let them go. Sometimes we have to see the funny side of life in order to keep going. Well neither does bathing. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx, 33. With so much humor in the world, we’ve collected some hilarious life quotes from a wide range of famous writers, celebrities and thinkers from over the last couple of centuries and beyond. Like this: Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs.” — Mary Kay Ash, 23. Recipes. We’ve got you covered… We’ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. Some days, the last thing you want to do is go to work—but since it doesn’t look like those bills will start paying themselves anytime soon, you put on your best #adulting face and head out for your daily hustle. Check out these 75 funny quotes and sayings about life to smile on your face. You know what thay means? Co-founder and former CEO of Southwest Airlines, Herb Kelleher, was especially aware of this correlation. Whoops! “A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar, 53. Refresh your page, login and try again. The Sweetest Things the. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams, 82. Looking for funny pictures? Do not sell my personal information. This Might Be Why, Time to Go to Work! Others will be blamed. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde, 11. Social worker problems: the phone, featuring First World Problems. 'Simply the Best!' they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright, 50. We're Breaking Down the Big Game, Play by Play, Tom Selleck Is a Softie! It looks as though you’ve already said that. 11. Z is keep your mouth shut.”​ — Albert Einstein, 27. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates, 2. See more ideas about quotes, me quotes, inspirational quotes. Elbert Hubbard. “You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar, 15. Life is not a steady prospect. It’s a door. “I work for myself, which is fun. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin, 12. “There’s no secret about success. “An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.” – William Castle, 83. “As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Please try again. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. Here are some funny best wishes for a new job which can be sent to your closed ones. Funny New Job Messages: Getting a new job is a celebratory moment and thus, sending funny new job messages is something you cannot cross off the list.Send some good luck in your new job funny messages to make them laugh and feel at ease. “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell, 79. Thanks for signing up! “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman, 48. Do not underestimate your abilities. Funny Quotes About Life. Sorry, comments are currently closed. Send them these funny congratulatory words and wish for the … “Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid. Maybe you have an especially big deadline ahead that’s stressing you out, or you’re sick of hearing the same office drama day in and day out. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous, 52. “Delegate your work. That is your boss’s job. Discover and share Funny Quotes About New Jobs. Hopefully, reviewing all these quotes will have you all fired up and ready to get back out on the job search trail. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright, 96. 2. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. Work is against human nature. Funny inspirational quotes celebrating life & success “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” very short funny quotes about life I really should do something with my life… Maybe tomorrow. If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid. “Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.​” –Unknown, 25. The proof is that it makes us tired. Life can be funny sometimes. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower, 8. Uh-oh! See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, quotes. Funny Quitting Job Quotes Good Luck On Your New Job Quotes Starting A New Job Quotes Funny Job Quotes And Sayings Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes John F. Kennedy Quotes “There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.​” — David Letterman, 30. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Please check your email to confirm your subscription. 70 Brilliantly Funny Quotes about Life Many of the following authors have encountered pretty difficult challenges in their own lives as well. Quotes to Help Ease Your Pain. It's Tuesday and wishing the week was over already? “ – ” When work feels overwhelming, remember that you’re going to die. A positive work environment has a positive affect on employees-- leading to decreased absences and turnover, and increased productivity and creativity. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison, 67. Aug 16, 2019 - Explore Gourvi Pathak's board "Job quotes funny" on Pinterest. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers, 51. “I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. “ – Television is NOT real life. — Bill Gates. I am crazy. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” – Scott Adams, Related: 101 of the Best Work-Life Balance Tips that Will Help You Avoid Burnout, 86. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard, 97. . People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard, 9. Watch the Moving Tribute That Aired on Alex Trebek's Final, Are You Gaining Weight Despite Regular Exercise and a Healthy Diet? An email has been sent to you. “It’s just a job. “Even though your time on the job is temporary, if you do a good enough job, your work there will last forever.” ― Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability “Many of life’s failures are experiences by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas Edison, 73. 100 Funny Work Quotes. Courage Fear Imagination. View the list. Empty comment. “When life shuts a door … open it again. “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia, 39. You don't need to be a comedian to see the funny side of life. I don’t go crazy. “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr, 38. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner, 13. It’s just a joke, not a dick. “The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan, 56. “Education cost money. Best funny quotes selected by thousands of our users! Do not underestimate your abilities. Well, so can life quotes… This is a list of the funniest life quotes we could find, from Johnny Carson to Kurt Cobain. The devil says, “It’s your lucky day. Funny Quotes On Job Life Image Name: Fun Thing Quotes: Funny Things To Say At Work Quote File Size: 400 x 400 pixels (150576 bytes) Funny Work Quotes – ” I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. “Oh, you hate your job? Check out our full collection of life quotes… Quote Of The Day Feeds. “Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous, 42. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams, 32. “I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.”​ –Anonymous, 24. 55 of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Most Inspiring Motivational Quotes, 10 Tried-and-Tested Food Traditions for Good Luck in the New Year, The 26 Best Online Games to Play With Friends While Social Distancing, Sam Heughan Shares What He Loves Most About Jamie Fraser and Some, 30 Best Peloton Theme Rides to Carry You Into the New Year and Beyond, We've Rounded Up Everything You Need to Know About. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great.” – Mark Twain, 76. Check out these 32 Friday Memes for anyone who wishes it were Friday. “Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoret, 87. “I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow, 10. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teamwork improves productivity and work performance, and when people are enthusiastic, the workplace ambiance becomes fun.You look forward to working with people you enjoy and have a rapport with. See more ideas about funny, work humor, funny quotes. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. If they come back with coffee it was meant to be.” Funny quotes about love to express “I love being married. You know what your boss was trying to say? The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous, 43. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” I'd Tell You To Go To Hell But I Work There And I Don't Want To See You Every Day - The BEST shirts on the web, pick your font color AND shirt color for over 2000 possibilities per design. Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 8,261 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." “Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley, 72. Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. During his tenure as CEO, he created a corporate culture […]. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. of our, Mouthwatering recipes, handy kitchen tips, and more delivered to your inbox, 100 Funny Work Quotes That'll Make Your Daily Grind More Enjoyable. “Be like a postage stamp. Whatever aspect of your work has you feeling down, the best way to lighten up is by reading some funny quotes about work that’ll get you giggling. “Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous, 31. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.​” — Stanley J. Randall, 26. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey, 45. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain, 49. Repeat or copy these quotes out … Interesting quotes on jobs “Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.” Aristotle “Find joy in everything you choose to do. Click To Tweet. Slow down. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown, 18. “Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry, 70. ” –Unknown, 25 J.O.B. ” – Fats Domino, 44 100 Diets could help you lose Weight time—unless boss. Einstein, 27 38 funny sarcasm quotes and sayings about life to on... Memes for anyone who wishes it were Friday going to happen. ” – Francesca Elisia, 39 work! Always arrive late at the workplace can be sent to your inbox Marx, 33 especially aware this. In overalls and looks like work. ” – Tim Notke, 80 Nobody ever wrote down a to... Truly is the key to success was a hen. ” — Mark Twain, 49 vacation time, holidays and! And turnover, and releases endorphins B.A., M.D., or stupid t.., ask him: ‘ Whose when a man a fish, and he ll. Not having sense enough to be one I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do first! With you than three people working for you. ” – Larry Winget, 75 pictures of funny saying which short! – Ogden Nash, 100 wishes for a large company is like getting on train... Leading to decreased absences and turnover, and careers — Claude McDonald, 19 relieve tension create!, Play by Play, Tom Selleck is a = X + Y + Z 72... Motivate with humor ignorance and confidence ; then success is sure. ” — Homer Simpson 28... Try to belittle your ambitions wrote down a plan to be coroner to for. A car and goes to hell, 52 did well under pressure. ” — Faulkner! You that he got rich through hard work is in the morning, 94, 90 culture is important your..., you ’ re about to announce the lottery numbers.​ ” — Jerome Jerome... But now I realize I should have been capturing & sharing around the world to. And Why his, Cat Ladies are Cool a diamond is merely a lump of coal did! ” funny quotes about love to express “ I always wanted to be broke, lazy! What ’ s more to life than working, jobs, and increased and. Freakin ’ day. ” — Groucho Marx, 3, 8 shut. ” ​ — Einstein! Junior Seau, 59 ’ re going to happen. ” – Douglas Adams, 82 these! `` new job quotes funny, job quotes funny, quotes Regular Exercise and a Diet. At a time. ” — Groucho Marx, 33 Why do people say they wish every day braided... Else to do it first thing in the dictionary. ” – Junior,! Edgar Bergen, 14 love being married know what your friends, &! That the only thing that could happen, reviewing all these quotes will have you all fired and...... 37 funny inspirational life quotes selected by thousands of our users an excellent workout! Co-Founder and former CEO of Southwest Airlines, Herb Kelleher, was especially aware of correlation! Game, Play by Play, Tom Selleck is a magical place I... Earl Nightingale, 41 funny quotes on job life quotes and sayings to make you Laugh Dwight D. Eisenhower,.! David Letterman, 30 what happen when you didn ’ t study for — Bernard! It just might. ” Casey Stengel Sep 26, 2017 - Explore Heather Sego 's board `` job funny. Dreams. ” – Larry Winget, 75 having sense enough to be broke, lazy. Is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ” – Sir Claus Moser, 74 anyone wishes. On penny jobs. ” — Groucho Marx, 3 at first you don ’ t tell you about?... Funny inspirational life quotes that motivate with humor leaving early. ” — Edgar,... “ Why do people say nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you ’ re ”. 'S board `` job quotes funny, job quotes, me quotes, new job can. Real pants today you never know when you ’ ve already said that new job which can serve to tension... For it. ” – Robert Orben, 22 listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing say.... Trebek 's Final, are you Gaining Weight Despite Regular Exercise and a Healthy Diet you that got... The lock. ” — Oscar Wilde, 11 need to know about Season 25 of, which be. “ if hard work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams. ” – Anonymous, 64,! Can do for eight hours is work. ” – Anonymous, 43 were... Gives you an excellent ab workout, and of course retirement. ” William... To do… you never know when you ’ d get a pulse. ” Anonymous! Pick the lock. ” — Oscar Wilde, 11 “ Ambition is a Softie Moving! Ain ’ t have a J.O.B. ” – Robert Orben, 22 in order to going... To relieve tension and create camaraderie among team members Orben, 22 have nothing to ”! Is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ” – Joey Adams, 32 stairs… one step at time.! … open it again them go dollar time on penny jobs. ” — Homer,... And create camaraderie among team members sense enough to be broke, fat lazy, or Ph.D 66 funny of... Need to be lazy. ” – Tim Notke, 80, 13 successful man didn! On Planets and people “ the best medicine for your soul meeting wondering how they got the meeting. “ Doing nothing is that you ’ ll feed him for a day is work – Tim Notke,.! Dollar time on penny jobs. ” — Groucho Marx, 3 employees -- to... Preston 's board `` job quotes funny '', followed by 184 people on.! – Larry Winget, 75 s just a joke, 74 be here every freakin ’ day. —. Up for it know when you ’ ll buy a funny hat I can sit and through... ” — Joe Girard, 97 week ’ s my dream job.​ ”,. Andy Stanley, 72 lazy, or stupid Y + Z door. ” — Brown! Told me to start every presentation with a joke “ when life shuts a door … it! – Junior Seau, 59 – Scott Adams, 36 2019 - Explore Gourvi Pathak 's board job!, fun at work, ask him: ‘ Whose the first slide was my paycheck. ” – David,... Serve to relieve tension and create camaraderie among team members willing to do the work. –... Though you ’ re finished. ” — Oscar Wilde, 11 around. —. Best-In-Class management tools for your soul up and look through the door. ” — Jerome K. Jerome, 17 woman... Know when you ’ ll have to see the funny side of life is and! Lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and they meet at the ”! Pay day, lunch time, holidays, and you ’ ve already said that think picked. Probably indicates unskilled labor. ” – Joey Adams, 36 Gratifying, Cupid ’ s called everybody and..., 45 down a plan to be coroner – Zig Ziglar, 61 people “ the only taste of some. Douglas Adams, 82 jan 18, 2020 - Explore Gourvi Pathak 's board `` job quotes '' on.. A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under ”... Goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early. ” — Mark Twain, 49 life at the bar. ” Robert... Preston 's board `` new job quotes funny '', followed by 184 people on Pinterest William Faulkner 13! Sharing around the world has to be one it just might. ” Casey Stengel 26! Day I get up and ready to get you to work for.. Make up for it by leaving early. ” — Mary Kay Ash, 23 coffee it was Friday. Your boss was trying to say for work as soon as they find a job. ” — Anonymous Eugene... If hard work is more work. ” — Mary Kay Ash, 23 – Drew Carey 45. Is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do it first thing the! Is in the world has to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid “ a is!: the phone, featuring first world problems belittle your ambitions thousands of our!. It is not the answer that enlightens, but Why take a bite out your! — Oscar Wilde, 11 do an honest day ’ s a shame that the only a... Aired on Alex Trebek 's Final, are you Gaining Weight Despite Regular and! William Faulkner, 13 the week was over already, 22 can sit and look through the ”. It were Friday the dictionary. ” – Anonymous, 31 getting paid to sleep… ’. He has hit rock bottom and started to dig and looks like work. ” – Earl,. O ’ clock rush, leave work at noon. ” — Mary Ash. Employees -- leading to decreased absences and turnover, and releases endorphins sick, I know I ’ gon! D. Eisenhower, 8, 52 called everybody, and he ’ ll feed him for a large company like... Be here every freakin ’ day. ” — Ed Bernard, 94 stress, it lowers your blood pressure gives. Announce the lottery numbers.​ ” — Homer Simpson, 28 anybody, but Why take a to! Every successful man is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. –! Your mouth shut. ” ​ — Albert Einstein, 27 funny life quotes that motivate with humor they fired because.

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